Why Do I Feel Pressure to Perform on Calls?
I get it, we've all been there - stuck in a never-ending cycle of performance anxiety when it comes to virtual dates. It's like, you're trying to make a good impression, but your mind is racing with thoughts of "Am I funny enough?", "Do they think I'm interesting?", and "Will they want to see me again?". And honestly, it can be exhausting.
But why do we put so much pressure on ourselves during these calls? Why can't we just relax and enjoy the conversation? Well, let's dive into some possible reasons behind this performance stress:
- Binge-watching culture: We're used to watching others perform (I mean, have you seen those Instagram reels?) and comparing ourselves to them. It's hard not to feel like we need to be just as charming, witty, or entertaining.
- Social media scrutiny: Social media platforms showcase the highlight reel of people's lives, making it easy to compare our own experiences to theirs. We start to think that everyone else is having more fun, meeting new people, and getting more matches than we are.
- Fear of rejection: Let's face it - there's always a chance the other person might not be interested in us. And who wants to deal with that rejection? It's like, wouldn't it be better if we just nailed it on the first call and avoided any potential heartache?
- Internalized expectations: We put pressure on ourselves because we think others are expecting us to perform well. Newsflash: most people don't care as much about your calls as you do!
So, what's the solution? Detaching from evaluation is key. Here are some tips to help you relax and enjoy those virtual dates:
- Stop comparing: Remember that everyone has their own struggles and insecurities. Focus on getting to know the other person instead of competing with them.
- Take a chill pill: Try not to overthink things too much. If you make a mistake or say something awkward, just laugh it off and move on.
- Focus on connection: Instead of worrying about how entertaining you are, focus on building a genuine connection with the other person. Ask open-ended questions, listen actively, and show interest in their life.
- Practice self-compassion: Remember that it's okay to not be perfect. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a friend.
Remember, virtual dates are supposed to be fun! It's an opportunity to get to know someone new, share your interests, and maybe even find a connection. So, the next time you're feeling pressure to perform on a call, take a deep breath, relax, and let things unfold naturally.
And hey, if all else fails, just remember that it's okay to be yourself - imperfections and all!